Communication Series Part 3: Personal Finance
For some reason, there is a reluctance to openly discuss finances in this day and age. I think it stems from the post-WWII era, where it was deemed the “man of the house” controlled the finances, or perhaps the Instagram/TikTok flexing (most of them are actually faking) that occurs on social media. In today’s world, we are constantly bombarded with images of wealthy people (i.e. KUTWK, RHONY, etc.), and somehow we think our “normal/ordinary” lives are sub-par. This is complete nonsense and we should learn to put our individual lives into a better perspective. Although discussions surrounding finances can be awkward at first, the more you practice effective communication techniques the better you will become. It will also allow you to have control over your finances versus your finances controlling you!
When we meet to have our first coaching session about your finances, I like to reserve the first part of the conversation by getting to know my clients. I want to know their background, how they met their spouse (if applicable), their childhood(s), their short and long-term goals, and their current struggles. By focusing on who they are as a person individually, we start to form a trust bond in order to dig deeper into their finances. This step involves a lot of listening on my part in order to provide the best possible coaching specifically for your financial situation. As mentioned in a previous blog post, we have to openly discuss your finances in order to know your Financial Location.
Many people may feel some type of shame or embarrassment when discussing their incomes and expenses. At Blue Collar Budgets, I take your financial situation seriously without any judgment. My goal is to help you achieve a level of Financial Fitness that allows you the ability to reach your short and long term goals. Of course, we know that life likes to shake things up a bit, but having a Financial Coach trained to help you communicate better regularly will help you achieve those goals! Each person, even within a married couple, has their own ideas about the future and how they would like to improve their Financial Fitness. It is my job as your Personal Financial Coach to understand each person’s role and visions, your current Financial Location, as well as how to get to your Financial Destination!
99% of the time that will involve making concerted efforts to change your default behavior, including how you communicate about your finances. If married, we must learn that each person brings their own perspective to the discussion, and that perspective deserves the respect to be listened to and understood. Another part of my job as a Financial Coach is to help couples learn ways to better communicate about their income and expenses. Although income, unless highly variable (commission or tips-based), is usually less of an issue. The real discussion concerns the expenses, and what one partner may feel is necessary the other partner may not.
By practicing your listening skills you can clear up many misunderstandings that surround your personal finances. I tell clients constantly that personal finance is rather easy once you learn the Budget Basics. However, the hardest part is improving communication to the point where common goals and dreams can be shared and realized. Even single people can benefit from improved internal communication with your future self. Are you on the same page as your future self? Are you putting your future self at risk of not existing due to constant unnecessary purchases that are draining your Budget Bucket? Learning how to hold yourself accountable to either your future self or your partner is a critical step that we will have several coaching sessions on in order to achieve your Financial Fitness!
“A lack of communication breeds assumptions about what the other person is thinking or feeling and assumptions are, more often than not, incorrect”
